Wednesday, April 06, 2005


I've been to the cinema everyday for the last 3 days.

First I went to see Downfall. This was a cheerful movie about some guy in world war 2. Loads of the poor Nazis had feelings too and they shot themselves in the heads. Poor old Nazis. I really felt sorry for those poor old Nazi guys as they shot themselves in the heads and ate cyanide. Then I went out for a chinese buffet, but buffet was closed so I got a doner. It was nice. The doner was nice. It was on a massive pitta with green chillis. I loved it but i felt stuffed and buffed by the end. Stuffed to death. I had a bad tummy in the night but I think this was trapped windy pops.

Then I went to see Pooh's Heffalump Adventure with my daughter and her cousin and my brother in law. It was an absolute load of dogshit. It was Elly's first ever time at the cinema though, so consequently it was a memorable experience. We walked into the cinema during a Wallace and Grommit advert, and she was totally awed by the massiveness of the screen and the volume of it. She couldn't take her eyes off it, but she seemed disturbed that there was no sign of Pooh.

We walked up and sat down and I explained 20 times that Pooh would be coming a bit later. The lights went all the way down and Elly said "oooh". Then the card that says the certificate and the name of the film came up and she laughed and said "Winnie the Pooh is coming". Then the Disney logo painted itself across the screen and she cooed in appreciation. The film began with a pan across hundred acre wood, and Elly said "Winnie the Pooh coming" a few more times. Finally we flew into Pooh's tree house, panned up the bed and came to rest on Pooh.

Elly sighed as if all her dreams had come true.

Pooh was then woken by a heffalump's call, and he fell out of bed into the honey pot. Elly cried, and cried for a good 50% of the film after that. The music was too scary, she wanted her Mummy too like the lost heffalump.

She liked the film overall though and has claimed on a daily basis that she is going back to the cinema again tomorrow to see Winnie the Pooh. She'll be lucky. It cost me £9 for one measly hour of sleep.

This was good and it made me cry. It is unoriginal, following the charismatic teacher model down to the unjust sacking and uplifting leaving sequence, and it has a really poor uplifting segue when the teacher is working his charismatic magic, but the photography is excellent and it's subtitled so when you are watching it in a cinema full of screaming babies it's easy to keep with the thread.

This is a brilliant and inspiring book. As a result of it I have started reading Bruce Chatwin. How? Because I have become so fucking eco maniacal that I have found myself reading nothing but organic hemp based books and leaflets and magazines. Yesterday I spent the afternoon at the rubbish dump where I found a butler sink for £10. I thought I'd bring it home and plant coriander in it and was really smug with my eco friendly recycling reusing ways. I paid my tenner, loaded it up on a trolley, dropped it, watched it smash clean in two, cut my finger on it, got enamel in my finger, walked bleeding around Tesco 'till I found a plaster, brought some organic apples, bit into one to find it tasted like water and generally thought to myself that it was time to be less intense about my organic recycled lifestyle.

So now I am reading Songlines. It's good isn't it? Suprised that it's simple to read. I thought it would be heavy and hard.

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