It is lunchtime.
I want to do a poo.
I walk into the toilet.
I turn around.
I drop my trousers.
I hurl myself down, but I sense that something is wrong.
I look between my legs and realise, too late, that the seat is up.
I try to stop but I’m moving too fast.
I reach out my arms to balance.
I fall down the toilet.
My knees are up by my chin.
My arms are flailing helplessly at my side.
I push myself out of the toilet.
I stand up.
I pull down the seat.
I sit down.
I don’t want to do a poo any more.