Saturday, August 15, 2009

Very very funny

This is brilliant.

(that is a hyperlink)

Friday, August 14, 2009

"Do you know Dad?"

I am dysoning.

Mick appears at the door, he is really excited. His eyes are wide and he has an enormous grin on his face and his toungue is hanging out.

"Do you know Dad?" he shouts.

I switch off the dyson.

"Do you know Dad?" he shouts again.

"What Mick?" I say.

"The paddling pool is actually a toilet."

"Did you wee in the paddling pool?" I say, but he has legged it off.

I consider the possibility that he has legged it off in order to take a shit in the paddling pool.

I switch on the dyson.

I continue to dyson.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I don't want to have to buy a flipping music cd.

It is Elly's birthday next Tuesday. She will be seven.

"Have you thought about any presents?" I say.

"Hee Hee. Yes." she says.

"What do you want?"

"Ummm, a CD please."

"A music CD?"

"Yes please."

I am really pissed off. I don't want to have to buy a flipping music cd.

"Alright then, by who?"

"Pavement please."

I run to the computer and order every Pavement album on CD.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Lazy, lowest common denominator blogging.

Someone else thought this was funny. 1.16 is my favourite bit.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Polly is watching David Cameron escorting Boris down a red carpet.

"Is that Piers Morgan? No, hang on, Alistair Campbell? No, no, not him, it's the Tory guy, what's the Tory guy's name? David, David are you listening to me, God, you're worse than Mick you are, hang on, are you blogging this?"

My wife is an observational genius.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


"Daddy, Mick has thrown sunflower seeds at my head and everywhere else."

I am cooking dinner.

They are watching telly.

I walk through to the living room. 

Mick has thrown sunflower seeds all over the room, coating everything in Sunflower seeds. 

I get the hoover, switch it on, hand him the extendable hose, and say "Clean it up."

He cleans it up.

End of story.

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