Nothing Funny

By 2020, if things continue as they are, there will only be 3 supermarkets. This will be the only choice available to us. Our supermarket will be our record shop, our dvd shop, our diy shop, our food shop, our chemist, our butcher, our greengrocer, our newsagent, our tobacconist, our post office, our clothes shop, our garage - oh, it already is.

I go to the supermarket about 3 times a week. Once for my weekly shop, once to buy more fruit for school and once again for stuff I've forgotten or a card or something small.

How many times a week do you go to the supermarket Polly?

"Well, anytime between one and three, but we have had some ridiculous weeks,"

What do you mean by ridiculous weeks?

"Well, I have had like, you know, when I feel like I've been going in every day,"

What sort of things do you find yourself going in to buy when you go in on days other than the weekly shop?

"Something that I've forgotton or, or like for example I didn't buy toothpaste or tissues today, so I'll probably go back to SUPERMARKET X to buy tissues later this week,"

Toothpaste and what?

"Tissues, I'll probably go back to SUPERMARKET X to buy tissues later this week. Toothpaste I'll probably buy from HEALTH FOOD SHOP."

There are two shops within 10 minutes walking distance that sell toothpaste and tissues - 2 chemists in cherry hinton, a post office that sells lots of other things and a mini market up the road on Wulfstan way as well as a chemist there too. Why will you go to SUPERMARKET X to get tissues and toothpaste?

"Well, I wouldn't go to SUPERMARKET X to get toothpaste now, because I want to get the HEALTH FOOD SHOP one, the eco one. Are you blogging this?"

No.

"You are. In terms of tissues, I would go to SUPERMARKET X because it's cheaper."

Is it that SUPERMARKET X is definitely cheaper, or you think it is cheaper?

"In the past when I've compared it's been cheaper but I'm talking about when it's compared to CHEMIST or something,"

And what about the cost to your lifestyle to not give a local business the impetus to continue selling at a cost difference of 10p?

"Well, let's think, maybe...I don't want you to expose me here, how are you writing all this? are you putting our conversation on the web? I don't want you to do this..."

You will, you don't come off badly at all.

"Aaah, god, I think I need help on this bloody tax return..."

So, Polly,

"Hmmm..."

What about petrol, how much do you think it costs to drive to SUPERMARKET X just to get some tissues?

"God knows, but I wouldn't drive out there, I'd probably just pop in on the way back from driving Elly to nursery or somewhere. But I might not even go. I found a packet of tissues in the back of the car."

So you usually drive past SUPERMARKET X to get home do you?

"Mmmm..."

Do you?

"Yeah, I never come Lime Kiln Road 'cause it's queuing,"

Oh, I come that way every night.

"I know, but everyone's queueing to get into Cambridge in the morning."

So in that case it genuinely is more convinient for you to pop into SUPERMARKET X just to get tissues?

"Yes, but I have to admit, it has been known in the past for me to go in just to get something,"

Yeah, I have too...

"A croissant or something,"

Well, I never get a croissant...