Monday, February 19, 2007

Here's the People

Elly made up her first joke today.

She said “Daddy, I’m going to do a comedian to you now, I made a comedian, I mean a joke.”

Elly's Joke

I said “Great,” and thought “Oh no. I want to be a good audience, but the pressure’s on,”

Then she said “Here’s the church and here’s the steeple” and did the stuff with her hands that children do.

Then she said “Open the doors, and here’s the people.”

She opened her hands to show me just the palms of her hands.

Elly's Joke

I looked at her and frowned a bit and thought “That’s a bit of a shit joke there Elly, First of all it’s not really a joke, it’s a rhyme, secondly you didn’t really make it up, so that makes you a 4 year old gag thief and thirdly you've done your hands the wrong way round so the fingers weren’t even wriggling when they were supposed to be representing the people, so to add insult to embarrasment you've fucked up what is already quite a low key punchline,”

Elly's Joke

I smiled in a way that I thought was kind and said “Elly, that's really funny but where are the people?”

Elly's Joke

At that point Elly went mental, laughing hysterically, shaking with excitement and shouting in a demented voice that I'd never heard before “That’s the joke Daddy, there aren’t any people, but I said to you “here’s the people,”

I think she may be a comedy genius.


Anonymous said...

hilarious think she is, er uh er uh er uh er uh er uh er uh er hah er hah

Anonymous said...

that's better than any ugly betty joke i ever heard you do. start your act with that next time...

David Trent said...

@ jon w - reading your comment initally I just grinned a little bit, but when I read every er uh er uh er uh er hah er hah and remembered their trance like faces I cracked up laughing.

This morning Mick did that going "Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum," over and over again, until he was just going "Umma Umma Umma Umma" and then he stopped and looked as if he'd realised that he'd gone so far into his mantra that it'd reversed, grinned at me and then started going "Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum,"

Also, if you listen to "You're no good" by Amy Winehouse there is a trumpet break half way through the song which goes "uh uh uh uh, uh uh uh uh, uh uh uh uh, uer uh uh uh"

I was singing that to myself again and again after my sister Miriam asked if I liked Amy Winehouse to illustrate that I liked her. After about 5 minutes of me doing that, Miriam said "Stop singing that now," so I sang it really loudly, pointing at her on each "uh" and sticking my tongue out every time I sang an "uh"

Elly and Mick were sitting at the table watching all this and after only witnessing one round of me doing that they instantly joined in. We sat there doing it at Miriam for 20 minutes. Every time Miriam said something, all three of us did "uh uh uh uh..." at her and then cracked up laughing.

To this day, all I need to do at any given time is stick my tongue out and go "uh uh uh uh," and they both drop what they're doing, stick their tongues out and start pointing at each other and sing along with this really stupid trance like look in their eyes. It is hilarious.

@ fensmith - problem is that I'd have to bring Elly to my stand up, and it might interfere with some of the later material in my set.

Anonymous said...


My parents came round last weekend for that cow's shin that I had slowly rendered in cider I mentioned.

I showed the photos I took of Elly and Mick when they were doing that 'Er uh er uh' thing and she couldn't get over them. She expected Mick to look like Phil Mitchell and instead was enchanted by his little face!

She had heard about Mick's discitus and had brought round one of her radiography journals which had an article about it in toddlers. She had never heard of it before and the whole story of Mick had given her some motivation for a bit of professional development. For once. NEXT!

Anonymous said...

i feel that your answer to me was a bit token. Look how long the reply to jon was and then you chucked in a few lines to me.

David Trent said...

@ Jon - it is great that your Mum has finally decided to learn to do a little more than press the button. Will she be up to it? Is it really appropriate for her to know so much?

Surely it'd be a better idea for her to get reading "Next... for dummies" instead of all this stuff about discitis?

Lovely to hear from you Jon and glad that your Mum was enchanted by the kids. They are enchanting, although Mick is currently looking at Tellytubbies with eyes like the people out of Trainspotting.

@ fen smith - thanks for coming by my blog.

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