I am blogging whilst having a shit. It is relaxing. It was relaxing. Now Mick has discovered me and he is dribbling on what can only be described as a flimsy plastic strip thing, custom designed to slip inbetween the keys on my laptop, and sliding the dribble between the keys. It's about time my computer stopped working as I've had it a week.
He is also pointing delightedly at the screen and saying "nah nah?" and stroking my legs.
I went to Suffolk for the weekend to eat food and sleep with Polly. It was delighting. We did talking and eating and telly and walking and even sex. All at the same time.. No, not all at the same time. First we did Talking. Then we did eating. Then we did Telly. Then we did walking. Then we did sex. We did them all one at a time. I made a list of the things we had to do and the amount of time to spend on everything. It worked very well.
Polly watched a DVD called "The Client" and it seemed to be all about a man shouting at a child. The shouting went on for ages. I was trying to have a lovely little sleep. All I could hear was a man shouting "You'll go to prison," at a small child. After a while it became most soothing.
As the children were in Cambridge with my Mum and Dad I kept going to sleep whenever I could. Every time I fell asleep I dreamt that either Elly or Mick or some sort of amalgam of the two of them were standing at my legs, holding their arms up to me to be lifted up and screaming and screaming and screaming. It was ironic.
We went to eat at the Crown and Castle in Orford. It was good food. More irony occurred at the Crown and Castle in Orford because it is owned by a woman called Ruth Watson. She wrote this book. As you can see it is called "Fat Girl Slim" and it is about losing weight.
But Ruth Watson is fat.
The Irony is, of course, that I was slim too and now I am also fat. From eating in too many restaurants like Ruth Watson's.
Polly just said to me "It is time to put them to bed now David" (referring to our children) "Which part of this are you going to do?"
and I said
"The part where I sit and play with my computer."
This is the wrong answer.