Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I drive home.

"We've got to book the holiday David," says Polly to me as we drive back from Thetford forest.

Elly has spent the last hour howling with despair because the 43p she brought with her wasn't enough to buy anything at the shop. She's been really screaming and it's been pretty much totally embarrassing and unbearable.

Screaming like this has a kind of mind searing effect which wrenches any fun that's been had previously in the day out of your soul and replaces it with blind and furious hatred of everything in the world. Ever.

Elly sobs from the back of the car.

"Yeah, that'll be right Polly. That's definitely what I want to do. I want to do this, every day, for ten days and spend one thousand three hundred pounds doing it."

Suddenly the car jerks forward. Polly has slammed her foot on the accelerator and is driving like Gene Hunt. I really am quite scared.

"Polly, please don't kill us all."

"WELL I MAY AS WELL, I TRY TO SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE AND ALL YOU DO IS BE REALLY NEGATIVE, I MAY AS WELL KILL US ALL THAN LIVE LIKE THIS,"

Polly is incredibly angry. She's really shouting this at the top of her voice. The last time she shouted at me like this was six years ago and we had to go and buy new crockery. I think there is a 24% chance that she will kill us all.

"Well Polly, if you're going to do it could you try to do it just on your side? Or wait until we get that brilliant insurance policy we were talking about the other night?"

Polly pulls over, gets out of the car and leans against a fence.

I go over and stand next to her. I poke her on the shoulder with my index finger. This is definitely the most comforting of all gestures.

We look back into the car. Elly is bent over in her car seat, wracking with sobs.

She says "Why does she do it?"

I say "Probably because she's five years old."

We sigh and giggle a bit.

I drive home.

(Theives threw a brick though my window last night and stole my laptop and my ipod, hence the lack of pictures)

2 comments:

Simon Brunning said...

Scum.

The thieves, that is.

donkey bitch said...

Damn, you get stuff stolen sort of frequently. That sucks.

A Number