Casillero Del Diablo Cabernet Sauvignon 2006

"Berries, some sort of berries," I say

I watched Sideways and I watched one episode of "Jame's May's scripted to fuckery arguments with Oz Clarke"

I think James May is a fuckhead.

I spent the last half an hour telling myself "Don't blog how much you hate Adele because it'll just make you look like a "hater" - picking on celebrities in a blog is just so tawdry - the world will have to go without your "I mean, that's not even a name, that's a computer" observation"


Then I sat down and almost immediately typed "James May is a fuckhead"

He's the sort of fuckhead who, at the age of 45, is basing a really successful TV career around the persona of "Boys are better than girls,"

Or, perhaps more acurately, "Boys are totally and utterly better than girls,"

Wanker.

"Go on" says Polly.

Since we watched these two wine based shows we have secretly stuck our noses into every glass of wine that we open at home, then try to guess what it says on the back of the bottle.

We don't do this in public, and we don't get out a book and write down our observations, just sometimes I remember to do it.

"Not berries, Cherries." I say.

Polly has already sipped the wine so she isn't allowed to play. (I must re-iterate, there's not like a list of rules, typed out, that she refers to, this is an informal game) She reads the back of the bottle while I say things.

"Anything else?" says Polly.

"Chocolate." I say.

"A smooth Cabernet Savuignon full of cassis and black cherries complimented by hints of mocha and dark chocolate, Well done," says Polly. She is really impressed.

She's probably becoming fairly aroused by my intelligence now. If I observe her carefully I can see the tell tale signs of arousal in her constant yawning, looking at the clock, and reading things out of the paper at me when they interest her until I have to say "Polly, for gods sake, please, I am trying to blog, I don't want you to read every single article out from the paper at me."

I always says cherries and I always say chocolate.

All wines that cost £3.99 smell of cherries. And chocolate.

Polly just said to me "John Lewis are doing really well despite everyone else doing absolutely crap. On the high street"

That "On the high street," was obviously added just in case I didn't realise John Lewis was a shop.