Harsh? I think not.

We did our first performance of the Christmas play this afternoon.

Lots of people said "Oh, it was very good David, you are being very harsh for saying it wasn't very good," but I was furious, and when you read my list of what went wrong, I'm sure you'll agree with me that the children could have done better.

1) Eveyone came onstage late during "Mrs O' Deary"

2) During the final verse of "Mrs O' Deary" 50% of the children sang the second verse and 50% of the children sang the first verse, when they all know they should repeat the first verse.

3) Passer by 2 didn't speak very loudly.

4) The teachers didn't come on stage for AGES and AGES.

5) Carol Singer 6 looked behind him as he sang onstage.

6) Child no. 5 forgot the cauliflower.

7) Child no. 5 forgot to shout "Let's go mad!" for AGES and AGES.

8) Market Salesman forgot to show the "Neever Spee Carbung" boxes to the audience.

9) Grandad Tom came onstage and stood next to Market Salesman instead of blending into the background.

10) Father Christmas started laughing halfway through a line.

11) An Elf fell over.

12) A rythmic gymnast got caught up in her ribbon.

13) Father Christmas was on the opposite side of the stage to the music box.

14) No-one sang "Wake Up" for the first three lines.

15) Carol singer 8 kept doing "the actions" to songs where there were no official actions.

16) The Elves gave out the presents very quickly, too quickly in fact.

17) The people watching the carol singers put too much money in the collection bucket instead of watching the carol singers.

18) Myrtle sat in the leading off position, even though we had discussed that Peter would sit in the leading off position.

19) Myrtle did not lead the children off the stage.

20) The children all stood around in the corridor outside and shouted "We were excellent" instead of going back to their classrooms.

21) Market Salesman opened his suitcase and pulled out the christmas underpants and tucked them into his trousers at the end of the performance instead of having pre-prepared them.

I was very upset.